A Plethora of Encouragement and Support

What an embrace we feel after all the outpouring of comments and encouragement we've received over the last couple days - whether on this site, Facebook, or the countless personal calls, emails, and texts. Much like El Guapo in the Three Amigos, I would certainly say we have a plethora of support from our circle of friends and family (and beyond).

As I was up early this morning reflecting on this, I started thinking about what specifically encourages me the most so far, and what both Courtney and I have already learned that we think will be helpful for others going forward (whether cancer or frankly anything where others need an extension of God's love and hope).

There are 2 things that have gripped me the most, namely specific prayer (especially combined with God's Word) and specific + proactive acts of kindness. This is noticeably different than the more common comments of "our thoughts and prayers are with you" and "let us know if there is anything we can do to help." I'll come back to those in a moment, but let me better define a couple examples of specificity.

My long-time mentor and high school youth pastor from 25 years ago (gulp) provides a great example of specific prayer: "May the Lord grant strength and peace, comfort and healing, and a unique sense of His presence for each of you - which sustains in wonderful ways. May He also grant many family moments where it's clear He is Present and has provided one way or the other." This was preceded by a personal embrace and a promise to pray for each member of my family as "this is a journey the whole family is on." What a powerful and specific commitment to pray.

A specific + proactive act of kindness was given to us yesterday by one of my closest co-workers who lives 30 minutes away but asked if he could pick up our kids for an afternoon of fun with his kids. While they were shopping, fishing, biking, eating s'mores, going out for pizza followed by ice cream, Courtney and I were able to relax for the afternoon, go for a short walk (I still can't go for more than a block or so), and watch a movie. It was a nice break for us and a blast for our kids doing something we can't do as a family at the moment.

My "thoughts and prayers" take is not to crush those who say this since after all, it's the American way. But I would ask those who repeatedly use this phrase to reflect further on what you specifically mean by it, whether you communicate it or not to the recipient. In other words, what are you praying, why are you praying, and most importantly WHO are you praying to?

Some have just thrown "positive vibes" our way, which clearly skips the WHO question. I'll be brutally honest here - that doesn't help us much, and I don't think that helps the "thrower" much either. Still, I can appreciate people who openly wrestle with this and are honest about "I don't know what to say" or even who to say it to. That at least opens the door to a conversation that I think would encourage both of us.

As for me and my household, we pray to the one and only God of the universe, who knows us personally as our creator and sovereign Lord. He knew me in my mother's womb, He knows how many hairs are on my head, and He cares for me deeply. And most importantly, He listens and answers my prayers. I know that to be as true as my cancer diagnosis.

Even better, He promises to draw near to us when we draw near to Him. "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13). Whether you are far from God or walk with Him daily, my biggest prayer is that today you will take one step closer to Him. He is wooing all of us and calling us to Himself, even through life's most difficult headlines. If you don't pray specifically, now is the time to ask God to specifically and radically reveal Himself to you so that you too can have a greater conviction, purpose, and hope.

Briefly on the "let me know if I can do anything" offer - I recently heard Sheryl Sandberg's story after her husband unexpectedly died while they were on vacation in Mexico (she is the #2 executive at Facebook). The thing she found most helpful was when a friend didn't wait for her to cash in an open-ended blank check but rather took initiative with a specific + proactive act of kindness.

In addition to the brief story above, we've had countless people bring over meals, stop by to pray for us, and even fix my cabinet door. My favorite specific offer just came in last night with one of our friends who said "my skills are largely limited to preaching, moving lawns, and spreadsheets." We're just learning that when we see an opportunity or need in the future, a specific act without asking is more effective than an open-ended offer.

Thanks again for filling our reservoir with prayer and genuine love for me and my family. It certainly makes a difference.