A People in Rhythmic Harmony

It's 4 am and I'm wide awake. Again. I can't recall a time in my entire life where I've been up and at 'em this early, and this is the third time in five days. But I'll take it since I'm feeling awesome and motivated to write. And then maybe I'll finish cleaning up my office and organize the pantry once the house is awake. While you may be right that these are all side effects of taking drugs, you may also be right that these are just side effects of being Jay. The point is that I'm bouncing back going into week 3 following my second treatment, which should be my strongest period before cranking back up for round 3. I'll be honest, I was thinking and hoping to breeze through the last 10 days since there would be no ancillary distractions from spinal taps or any other doctor visit along the way. But the impact of chemo this past round frankly kicked my butt to the point of not getting out of bed much for 3-4 days through last weekend and not getting out of the house until last Thursday (yes I was going absolutely stir crazy). By then I was ready to roll into work for the first time in 2 weeks, but it really only lasted a couple hours before I had to head home feeling like I needed a nap (and some Chick-fil-A as a reward along the way of course). Rather than answer "it depends" or "with my fingers" when asked how I'm feeling (shout out to my gramps for the pun), I'm learning that this is not a linear journey. Some days are as close to normal as can be, and others are miserable and make me cranky. Sometimes I'll feel a radical mood swing within the same day, and fatigue can creep up quickly tapping me on the shoulder to check out. But much like any journey, we're doing our best not to get distracted with the on and off ramps but rather keeping our eyes fixed on the destination. When I reflect on my 18 years now in Cleveland, I consistently and confidently believe that God has orchestrated a linear path to get me precisely to this place at this exact time. And that absolutely includes the last 60 days of cancer. Clearly life never appears linear in the moment or when we start looking ahead but rather feels like Lombard Street in San Francisco. But when I take a peek in the rear view mirror in comparison to where I'm standing right now, I truly marvel at where God has carried me all these years. And I'm particularly grateful for who He has put in my path to help get me to this point. The most beautiful part of any story is the people and characters that develop throughout. It's not the circumstances that we remember but those who stand by our side to help us get from here to there. As various people start playing different roles in our orchestra, let us not forget who assigned them or more significantly wrote the symphony manuscript. Whether we recognize or acknowledge it, we have a Maestro who is masterfully designing and conducting His people in perfect harmony. When others pour into us, the impact and payback is huge. In Mr. Holland's Opus, one of Richard Dreyfuss' students makes a profound and endearing quote that any of us could aspire to receive: "There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony, Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life." The reason that resonates to me and to others is because Mr. Holland's true success wasn't defined by his own plan of writing a symphony so that he could be famous and possibly even rich. His real life's work was the influence and impact he had on the lives of his students, which can actually last for generations. We have so much to learn from others, yet we are also equipped to teach - no matter where we might think our qualifications and experience put us on the spectrum. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude when I consider all the people that have invested and continue to pour into me personally. That's the kind of song that leads to lasting legacy. In the book of Hebrews, we read about "hall of faith" heroes who came before us, so that we might learn and imitate their faith and patience to inherit the promises of God. Immediately after recapping each individual example, the author then writes: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." (Hebrews 12:1-2). Courtney and I feel surrounded and bathed in love for sure, and it absolutely helps alleviate the weight of this season. But the point isn't for our comfort now or later. We press on for the sake of the gospel, and we do that best with and alongside God's people. For our destination isn't just the end of chemotherapy in January. We run with endurance for God's glory, and the only way we know how is to fix our eyes on Jesus. Wanna pick up an instrument and run with us?